Reasons To Date A Vaper

Picture the scene: 

You’re on a date and have spent the evening in the company of a particularly lovely individual, sharing stolen glances over flickering candlelight and swapping soul-searching stories while you coil spaghetti coyly around your fork.

Everything is going perfectly. The conversation is flowing like the Pinot Grigio which sits atop the table and the sparks of chemistry are almost physically visible.

Then, like an orchestra which suddenly falls silent in the middle of a score, your date rises from the table and rather unceremoniously dismisses themselves for “five minutes.”

A slight feeling of deflation creeps in as you sit alone and wait for their return, but you try and keep this at bay with thoughts of just how darling your first child together will look. As you wonder whether your currently-fictional child will have you or your beloved’s eyes, your date returns to the table and brings with them the permeating stench of freshly-smoked cigarette.

The smell, which seems to offend all of your senses at once, creeps from your lover and stretches across the table like a gnarled old hand to effectively put you off your dinner (and indeed, your date...)

Suddenly, the blissful future you were planning for yourselves complete with rosy-cheeked children and white picket fences is sullied by the thought that not only will all dates be peppered with intermissions of loneliness while your partner dashes out for constant fag breaks, but you also can’t help but think:

“Do I really want to build my future with a smoker..?”

Smoking cigarettes displays a very obvious disregard for your health and well-being and, as such, can be off-putting to people looking for someone who’s in it for the long haul. It shows a lack of concern towards being around for the ones who love you for as long as possible, so don’t be surprised if your date politely makes their excuses and edges towards the door without offering their phone number once they learn of your unpleasant habit.

Getting together with a vaper is an entirely different experience, for many reasons. First off, you won’t have to worry about being left alone in bars, restaurants and just about any indoor activity while your beloved ‘nips out’ for a smoke as you awkwardly scroll through your phone and politely decline when other patrons ask if they can use the empty chair at your table. As vaping becomes more and socially accepted and less unfairly vilified, the option to vape indoors is also increasing, meaning you don’t have to sit twiddling your thumbs while you wait for a smoker to satisfy their cravings.

Vaping generally calms nicotine cravings with one or two drags, so even if your lover does have to leave the building it will be a matter of seconds before they return with sweet, strawberry-scented breath rather than smelling like they’ve just licked the remnants of an ashtray…

This leads us nicely to the next check in the positive column regarding dating a vaper: the smell. There’s nothing more off-putting than leaning in for a cheeky smooch with your darling and receiving a face full of rancid cigarette breath, which even though you didn’t smoke yourself, seems to somehow cling to your clothes and skin whenever your partner returns from a smoke break.

The unmistakable stench of cigarette breath is a direct result of the burning of the burning of tobacco and chemicals and, over time, leads to a dramatic decrease in saliva production. This dryness of the mouth can lead to a proliferation of the bacteria known to cause halitosis* and has also been shown to be associated with other dental issues such as gingivitis (swelling of the gum line) and calculus build-up*.

Because vaping doesn’t contain any of the harmful chemicals or tobacco as traditional cigarettes, its impact on breath freshness and oral hygiene is far less detrimental than what might be experienced when smoking a cigarette, cigar or roll-up. With so many sweet and fragrant e-liquids to choose from, you can treat your lover to candy-coated kisses as you run your odour-free fingers lovingly through their hair instead of enveloping them in your second-hand smoke.

There is also something very attractive about someone who is committed to maintaining their health, sacrificing a bad but possibly enjoyable habit in the interest of improving the quality of their life and prolonging it for as long as possible.

As we mentioned earlier, when you smoke a cigarette you are actively showing everyone around you that your health is not a paramount concern which, for someone trying to decide whether or not you’d be a fitting life partner, could be extremely off-putting and may indeed prompt them to look elsewhere…

And whilst we’d love to keep this post sweet and wholesome, we can’t avoid the fact that smoking tobacco can also have a significant impact on your sexual health.

Did you know that smoking just one cigarette can affect erectile function? Smoking cessation group Stop Tobacco states that “among the innumerable active ingredients in tobacco, nicotine, carbon monoxide and certain free radicals are responsible for the constriction of blood vessels with a more immediate effect, as several recent studies* have demonstrated. An occasional cigarette can therefore lead to a significant decrease in erectile performance, for instance an increase of over 20% compared to a non-smoker!” If these points aren’t enough to make you swipe left on a smoker in favour of a health conscious, virile vaper who’ll be around to enjoy your shared future, then please also consider the fact that a vaper is incredibly easy to buy for.

Never again will you have to trawl through crowded high streets as you deliberate over what to get your lover for their birthday or Valentine’s Day because they’ll always be grateful to receive the latest delicious e-juice or modification for their e-cigarette setup as a token of your affection.